The Definition of Half
by sapereaude13
Summary: Balthier feigned a pain in his lower back, and Ashe scowled at him. “I’m so very sorry your thieving was inconvenienced,” she spat. “I should never have told you.” Balthier/Ashe. Postgame.


Though her face was marked with the decorum and solemnity befitting her station, he could tell that Queen Ashelia was irritated beyond all comprehension. She had just gotten much better at hiding it as of late.

"My lady," one of her peons protested. "Are you absolutely positive it was the work of pirates?"

"I am sure, Lord Pallot," she replied evenly, although he could detect the twitching of her eyebrow even from his hiding spot behind the screen. He smirked at that.

Another underling addressed his monarch. "Highness, only the people in this room and the leaders of the expedition knew of the spoils at…"

The royal hand was raised for silence, and everyone fell into line as they always did. "I can say with absolute certainty that the tomb was violated by pirates. I used to travel with a few…I know their methods."

One of her judiciary subordinates cleared his throat and dared speak up. "Then let us put out a warrant. They did not leave trace of their identity but perhaps someone near the river villages saw them?"

Queen Ashelia laughed. "You will not catch these thieves. It was a flawless job." She bit her thumb and pondered her course of action, and he felt like a spectator at some bloody gladiatorial bout. Would the woman give the thumbs up or the thumbs down? Ashe met the eyes of her council and shook her head. "We let it go. Next time we will be more cautious in our discussions of such archaeological expeditions. You are all dismissed."

The Dalmascans shuffled about and mumbled, clearly disappointed that they would not be calling for the heads of sky pirates on pointy spikes. The Queen had saved his skin once more, but he expected no less. Then again, he also expected that this would not be their happiest meeting, but Balthier Bunansa was a show off, and today he had plenty to show to Her Majesty.

When the rabble of boring men had departed, he watched the Queen pinch the bridge of her nose and sigh loudly. "I can't tell him anything," she muttered to herself, and he knew that was his cue to announce his presence.

"Can't tell whom, Princess?" he drawled, poking his head around the corner of the screen.

"Balthier!" she squealed, launching herself from her seat and across the room in near record time. She was ready to pounce on him like a Shield Wyrm on a taunting Vaan. He stepped out from behind the screen and held his hands up in innocence.

"Now now, my lady. I thought you resolved to work on your temper in the new year. It was your big goal!"

Ashe ignored his pleas for calm and instead thumped his chest with her fist. "Hang that goal, pirate! This was a private session!"

"But it was about_me_," he reminded her and walked past her to settle himself comfortably in her chair. He helped himself to a piece of fruit from the spread for her ministers and then propped up his feet on the table. He took a slow bite of the fruit and wiped his chin with a handkerchief. While he was relaxing, she moved to lean on the table with her arms crossed. "So Ashe…how are things with you?"

She arched an eyebrow. "You damn well know how things are. The Expeditionary Force is humiliated. That was to be their very first archaeological excavation. It seems that someone got the jump on them, and there was naught but a few pebbles left in the tomb when they arrived." She tried to shove his feet off of her table with little success. "I wonder how that could have happened."

"A tragedy to be sure. _Someone_ must have tipped me off," he replied jovially and took another bite. He offered the fruit with a smile. "These apples are wonderful, have you tried them?"

Ashe looked ready to murder him, but he was no stranger to such impulses in his dear lady. "You knew they were going there. They were so excited!" she complained. "Why did you and Fran have to do that?"

He smiled. "Before you malign the good name of my partner, I'll have you know that she sat this one out. Some misguided desire to stay on your good side." Balthier tossed the unfinished apple back into the bowl, seeing Ashe's eyes flash in even greater fury. He rose to his feet and stood before her. "Had to carry all that wonderful treasure back to the Strahl on my own, and even a blind man can see that Fran's the strong one."

Balthier feigned a pain in his lower back, and Ashe scowled at him. "I'm so very sorry your thieving was inconvenienced," she spat. "I should never have told you."

He reached into his pocket and held a jeweled necklace out for her inspection. "You probably shouldn't have." Ashe grabbed the necklace and held it up to the light. "Perhaps a Queen would do well to hold her tongue in the presence of a pirate."

She snorted and shoved the jewelry back in his palm. "Perhaps a pirate would do well to stop wrangling state secrets from a Queen in the midst of…" Ashe let her words trail off with a flush in her cheeks, and he chuckled.

He put the necklace away and pulled her to him. She wrapped her arms around him and sighed. "Whatever will you do with a man like me, Princess?" he inquired softly, threading his fingers through her hair and inhaling the sweet scent of her perfume.

Her voice was muffled against his chest. "Mmffhmm hmm."

"I beg your pardon?"

She pulled back and let her hands wander under his vest to fiddle with his shirt. "I said I could just raise your bounty."

"You wouldn't dare," he whispered, letting his fingers stroke the bare skin of her arms.

Ashe shoved him away from her and grinned. "Then let's make a deal."

"I don't like the sound of that," he retorted. The woman was as lovely as she was infuriating, but Balthier was a glutton for punishment of a royal nature it seemed.

She fixed her hair and readjusted her gown to her satisfaction after his attentions had mussed them. "You and Fran keep half. The other half pays for the Expeditionary Force's next dig."

"Half!?"

"Half," she replied, finally returning to a state of calm that she saved for her times of triumph over him.

His bounty was high enough. He didn't need his impetuous Queen adjusting it when there were plenty of other authority figures in Ivalice he wasn't sleeping with to raise it already. "Fair enough, Your Majesty. How shall we seal this bargain, I wonder?"

The corners of her mouth quirked. "I wonder, indeed." He made a step towards her, but she shook her head. "We can discuss that this evening if you'd like."

He caught her hand as she pulled away and raised it to his lips. "You're lucky I'm a patient man." He brushed a kiss across her knuckles and released her. "Until tonight then."

She took his half eaten apple from the bowl and gave him a salute. "Always a pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Bunansa." Ashe took a bite of the fruit and tossed it back to him.

He laughed. "The pleasure is all mine, my lady." She departed with a rustle of her skirts, and he made for the secret passage in the next hallway.

It was a good thing that she had no idea just how much treasure he'd actually liberated. A pirate's definition of half certainly differed from a Queen's.


End file.
